How to Get Unstuck When You’re Not Happy with Your Circumstances

The last three years have brought so much change for practically every person I know. For some, it was small changes, for others there was life altering change, but one thing I know for certain: there are many leaders who feel stuck. 

Before we delve into how to get unstuck, I want to share an analogy I recently heard on the Mel Robbin’s podcast, How to Let Go: 2 Simple Ways to Find Clarity & Move On.

In this podcast, Robbins talks about how leaves die and fall away from tree branches in autumn. The reason this occurs is because the leaves serve a specific purpose during the Spring and Summer: they absorb sunlight and help the plant photosynthesize to feed the tree. However, the environment in the Fall and Winter is such that if the leaves did not fall away, they would smother the tree and kill it.

Her point is, the leaves serve a purpose for a season, but there comes a time when they no longer serve a purpose, and the tree has to pull its energy back so they die. 

How many of you have something in your professional life that feels like it is smothering you?

Perhaps it is your job, some goal you set, or maybe it is a problem employee you haven’t dealt with. You know what that thing is that is smothering you, and the solution is simple, it is time to pull your energy away from what is causing you strife and begin focusing on what you need to do to make a change. 

Although I had not listened to this podcast during the last couple years, I felt like Robbins was talking to my former self. I worked for an organization for 10 years that I valued but the job I was doing in 2019-2021 was draining me. It was sucking away every ounce of energy and joy I had and I felt stuck. I earned a lucrative salary, one that was better than most organizations in my region paid, and I thought I couldn’t leave that job without equal compensation that was going to be hard to find.

After many months of being miserable, my husband looked at me one day and said “Wendy, you know you can quit, don’t you?” I remember thinking he had lost his mind. How did he think we were going to live if I left that job. Sure, he had a nice retirement coming in, but we had built our life around OUR income. That day, he forced me to sit down and look at our budget and to my surprise, I realized we did not need THAT salary. Sure, I needed a salary, but not the one I was earning. 

Many leaders are facing similar challenges. They feel bound to their job because they’ve convinced themselves they cannot live on less. So, the first step in getting unstuck is to separate ideas from facts. 

The second hurdle I had to get over was accepting that quitting the job was not a sign of failure, and I had to quit worrying what other people would think when I told them I was quitting my successful corporate career to pursue entrepreneurship. While I may have had some concerns about what others would think, their opinions did not pay my bills, nor did they bring me joy. 

I also had to acknowledge that quitting did not mean I wasn’t grateful or that the career had not added value to my life. It simply meant I had changed, which leads us to the second step: shedding things that no longer add value. 

Finally, I had to shift my focus to what I wanted instead of allowing what I didn’t want to continue to consume my energy. Rather than complaining constantly about my job, I began developing an exit strategy. I saved my PTO, focused on paying off a few bills and had a plan to earn enough money to get by until I could rebuild my salary. It took me eight months to make the change, but it is indescribable the weight that was lifted from me once I made up my mind I was leaving, I just needed to do it strategically. And that is the 3rd step, if you’re not happy with your current situation, stop focusing on what you don’t want and start taking steps to get you to where you want to be. Allow your values to guide your path and look to the future as a new journey rather than seeing it as a failure. 

As Robbins said, when you give humans a specific problem, they can get awfully creative, so if you’re stuck, redirect your energy to a place that gives you energy, and get yourself unstuck! 

You are capable of doing hard things! If you aren’t sure how to proceed or need a helping hand, reach out.