Imposter Syndrome: How to Silence the Lies New Leaders Tell Themselves

I started my first leadership role in September 2011. I had prepared for six years for that day and was over the moon excited. I recall starting that day with confidence, but by the end of the second day I was questioning everything I thought I knew about myself.

It wasn’t that something bad happened within 16-hours, but somewhere within that time I convinced myself I should know everything there was to know about the role.

As ludicrous as that is, unfortunately it can be a cost of being an overachiever. No one should expect to know how to do a new job in such a short time and certainly you can’t expect to be a transformational leader when you’ve never led, but that was the moment that I started filling my head with lies that stuck with me for the next eight years.

Imposter syndrome starts because of the high expectations we place on ourselves.

According to Psychology Today, people with imposter syndrome believe they aren’t as competent or intelligent as people believe and soon enough they’ll be found out. It was because of my own unrealistic expectations that I allowed imposter syndrome take over my mindset and it stuck with me for eight years.

Because of the junk I allowed into my head, I created unnecessary stress and anxiety in my life. At three different times in my career when I should have been focused on growth and success, I was convincing myself I wasn’t smart enough for the job I had earned.

It took me eight years to overcome that ridiculousness; so how did I do it? If you want to silence the lies, you first must be kinder to yourself.

Imposter syndrome in the case of new leaders is equivalent to being dropped in a foreign country and expecting to know the language.

That sounds ridiculous, right? That is because it is!

Over achievers will always reach for more and that will undoubtedly come with growth and learning, so give yourself the grace to learn. You cannot and should not expect to know something you’ve never done.

Secondly, you should learn to be proud of yourself. It is ok to keep a record of all the things you’ve done right. You may not want to boast about them, as that could have a negative impact on other’s opinion of you, but it is absolutely ok to remind yourself of what you’ve accomplished.

Use facts to remind yourself. In my case, I had a record for decreasing turnover and increasing engagement at each of my previous roles.

Look for data to support the facts because facts don’t care about your feelings.

Next, practice flipping the script. When you let garbage in, garbage is sure to come out so do not allow negative talk to invade your mind. I recently attended a conference and we were asked to right down what I believe others would say about me, then we were asked to text five people and ask them to tell you the first 3-5 descriptors that come to mind when they think about you as a leader. This simple exercise is a great way to replace the stinking thinking.

I was fortunate enough before my third promotion to get a 360-degree assessment. The assessment requested anonymous feedback from some of my leaders, peers, and direct reports about me as a leader. I also answered the questions about myself and was provided a report of the responses. Seeing what others thought of me compared to how I thought they viewed me was an eye-opening experience and allowed me to start seeing myself the way others saw me. This can also be helpful for those who overestimate their abilities and attitude. This was so impactful for me I was able to use this knowledge to start my third promotion with the confidence that I was enough.

When you do find yourself slipping into old habits, ask yourself “When have I ever failed?” I’m not talking about messing up or missing the mark, but when have you truly failed in your career. Chances are, new leaders suffering from imposter syndrome will realize they haven’t ever failed, so remind yourself of that and fill your mind with the belief that there’s zero reason for you to fail now.

Finally, consider engaging a skilled coach who can help you explore what may be causing the limiting beliefs and help you overcome. Ignite Leadership leverages tools like 360-feedback to help their clients overcome imposter syndrome.