Good Leadership: It’s Not About Being Liked—It’s About Being RESPECTED

Weeks ago, my 6-year-old grandson roped me into filming a TikTok of him breakdancing—a fun break since I help my single-dad son with him often. He obsessed over camera angles, and we posted his masterpiece together.

Minutes later, he was back, wide-eyed: “Mimi, how many people liked my video?” No likes yet, and his face fell. At six, he’s already chasing that dopamine hit of approval. It made me wonder: Are managers burning out from the same trap—needing to be liked instead of respected? In my years of strategic HR leadership, I’ve seen it too often. Managers raised in the social media era carry an unspoken pressure to win everyone’s approval (also comparison—but that’s a topic for another day). They avoid tough calls, fearing a dip in popularity. But chasing ‘likes’ burns you out and leaves your team adrift.

TRUE LEADERSHIP: TOUGH CALLS OVER CROWD-PLEASING

Take a client I worked with recently. Their younger managers were drowning, more so than their seasoned colleagues—high turnover, low morale, endless people-pleasing. We shifted their focus from being liked to connecting with purpose. I introduced custom engagement pulse checks—not generic surveys—to hear what employees actually needed. Then we turned that feedback into actionable steps they could implement fast.

Managers started leading with intention, making decisions tied to team goals, not their own approval ratings. The results? Retention’s on track for a 10% increase within a year. Managers felt less overwhelmed, more empowered. Good leadership doesn’t need a thumbs-up to know it’s working. It builds trust through meaningful engagement—listening deeply, setting clear expectations, and showing up consistently.

When you focus on what’s right for your people, not what’s popular, you create teams that thrive. And those teams make your job easier—aligned, engaged, and ready to run with you, not because you’re ‘liked,’ but because you’re respected. Organizational Psychologist Adam Grant knows this too—impact trumps popularity every time.

So, to the managers scrolling for validation: put down the metaphorical TikTok. Your worth isn’t in the likes—it’s in the impact you make. Lead with purpose, connect intentionally, and watch your team—and your peace—grow.

Ready to lead with impact? Share your thoughts below or reach out to see how Ignite can help.

Wendy Glass is a strategic HR leader with over 19 years of experience and the founder of Ignite Leadership + HR Consulting, helping organizations ignite their teams’ potential.